just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
