So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
