Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
