yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
