Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
