it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
