Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
