I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
