You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize