The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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