i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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