Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
