but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Randomize
