I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
