I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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