I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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