I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
