Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
well you can't waste a boner
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
