So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
