Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
