I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
