I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize