someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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