Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize