On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
