He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
