I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
