why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's never too late to be topless.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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