I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
