I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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