Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
