Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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