Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
