Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
