marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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