the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
