Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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