Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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