porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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