I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
