Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
