i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
