Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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