No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's blow job season.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
