Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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