Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I need moral support for this bender
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Randomize
