marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
