don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
