I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
