You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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