I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize