Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
