Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
