Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
