I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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