Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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