like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
