what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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