I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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