She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
