She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
