Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
