I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let's paint friendship bongs
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize