Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
