piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
